Healing self-dialogue on love and hurts

I reach within, level after level, gently talking to you to persuade you to unlock all the doors you had blocked by your side, fearing anything, not wanting anyone to enter and hurt you more.

Not even me.

But you are myself.

How can you not let me enter, as if you feared I might hurt you? Do you think I would ever do it, intentionally?

You are me, and I am you, despite I’m built on your foundation.

I would never hurt you… not intentionally, at least.

You don’t trust me, I know, for you think in the past I exposed you to pains by letting myself open up to love…

But think about it.

You are the past myself I used to be.

You, are the one who opened that door and took those risks.

Or, more exactly, the one we used to be, the one before you feeling hurt, that is the myself/yourself, now gone, who took decisions leading to that outcome.

You might say that’s the lesson you learnt from such pain, that to isolate yourself is the solution, the “perfect” prevention from any hurt.

But if you don’t keep the door open, not even for me, for that part of you, and of me, which wants to heal you, how will it go away, that pain?

In this way, not only you hold on to the hurt you were given… but you also give it to me: that is, to yourself.

If I am kept out of the door, rejected by myself, I cannot be anything but suffering.

Yes, you’re now hurting me, that present yourself you should rather embrace.

And you are locking me behind the same doors you imprison yourself within.

But locking the doors, both in and out, prevents any love from entering and flowing.

Tell me, what would you do, for anyone you love whom was hurting? You would love them, right? You’re so good, at loving!

By locking in, by not letting yourself freely love, you’re betraying yourself, your essence!

That’s the only way to heal: to give and receive love.

You might say love is riskful, and can hurt us.

This happens only when it goes wrong, I reply.

But I already showed you how to lock me, yourself, out and in, hurts too.

I cannot promise you that to love someone else will never hurt us… so many aspects can change, or just go wrong!

But each and every time that hit, that crash of our expectations against the wall of reality, broke our bones, they also grew thicker along the fractures while fixing themselves.

Each and every time you suffered, unknowingly, you also became more resistant to it.

But you, my past myself, can realize this only by not isolating yourself, by not putting a wall between the yourself stuck in the past and the yourself, me, in the present, the one still breathing.

It’s only by staying in touch with me, that you can know I don’t hurt as much as you presume – and want to persuade me – I do!

Because we are just one.

In the love between us, past and present, it’s our strength.

Love me trustfully, and let me love you: we can never get separated, you see… we are just one.

With love,

Me, yourself.

(c) Daniele Bergamini